1992 I think it was…give or take a years or so. That’s the last time I played any kind of competitive sport. Back in those crazy university days where I could manage a couple of hours of badminton twice a week without crippling myself.
So it was with some trepidation that on Saturday I stood on the court at the Foussais sports hall about to take part in the Handball tournament as a member of “The School Team”: Myself, Francois-Marie and 3 dads from school. I wasn’t quite sure how I managed to get roped into it. I think partly through my usual trick of just saying “Ah oui, c’est bon” when I’m in a french conversation, which will no doubt get me into all sorts of trouble, but also partly because I thought it would be fun.
At 10 minutes before “kick-off” though, the thought of “fun” was replaced with thought like “I don’t actually know any rules” and “The opposition are all half our age and 10 times as fit” and “Do my legs actually still work these days?”.
It was a “sans-license” tournament, so there were all sorts of different teams there, of all abilities, ages, shapes and sizes. Molly had a team made up of some of her usual under-12s girls team. We borrowed two of them to be our substitutes, joined by Rosie, who was keen to get involved but missed out on joining the girls from her usual team by virtue of not asking them 
It was a league arrangement, split into two groups - the older folks in one group and the younger ones in another. With 10 teams altogether, it worked out quite nicely.
So, I’m there thinking that I’ll be able to have a bit of a practice and size up the opposition for a while, only to find out that we were on first - talk about pressure! Luckily there was a lot of “Home” support and everyone was very encouraging. And after seeing my team-mates warming up I was feeling a bit more encouraged. Although Francois-Marie claimed he hadn’t played for ages, he failed to mention that he must have been a fantastic player the last time he played, as he was rather amazingly good. Along with Olivier and Christophe, both also still in fine form, I felt happy that I could leave the hard work to them…
Anyway, the first match started and unfortunately I soon discovered that in handball everyone has to do the hard work. It’s not like football, where as a defender you can hang around at the back while the guys with all the skill take the ball and score all the goals. Oh no. In handball you’re up and down the pitch as one, passing to and fro, probing the defence for a gap, looking for an opportunity to score. Then, as quick as a flash the tide can turn and you’re sprinting back down the pitch trying to catch up with a teenager going at 60mph with the goal in his sights!
After a long hard fight, we were drawing at 4-4, until the dying seconds when the opposition scored a final goal to beat us 5-4. What a shame! But it had been a good effort. Individually, I had been pretty poor, I don;t mind admitting. I had never even handled a handball before and so I was taking a while getting used to the feel of it, how to dribble it and pass it about. It’s a small ball, but quite light and very bouncy, so it really takes some getting used to.
The next match we also lost, although I felt my performance was a bit better this time. I was still a bit of a muppet when trying to catch & pass the ball in front of the goal area - not enough power in my throws still, but I worked hard in defense and got in a few good tackles.
By the third match, we managed a draw and I was really starting to get into the swing of things. I was surprised at how well I felt - I had imagined being flat on my back by now - but I was keeping going. it was great having the girls to call upon to give us a minute’s break during the match though. They all really helped out and it was especially nice to see Rosie out there playing for us. I think it did her confidence some good and the trainer of her team must have been pleased to see her taking part.
Meanwhile, Molly’s team were trying very hard. They were the youngest team by far, and so were struggling to make an impact against most of their opposition. But they kept on trying and, although I can’t remember all the results, they played with great spirit, but lost most of their matches. We really felt for Molly - she was in goal for most of the matches, and the shots really did come raining down on her. But she put in a fine performance, pulling off some great saves and keeping her chin up. In a couple of games they had a “guest” keeper - Francois-Marie on one occasion - which gave Molly the chance to play out-field, which gave her a bit of a break from the onslaught between the sticks.
Everything stopped for lunch, when many people went home for something to eat. We had brought a small picnic, but couldn’t resist the chips on sale outside… We had a drink at the bar and chatted to some of the locals. It was a nice opportunity for us all, as the only English there, to get involved with the villagers again. Lisa had a nice long chat with Thierry, the husband of Joe’s teacher, who speaks no english at all, and found that he could understand her really well. She has really progressed over the last 6 months with her french - all it takes is a bit of confidence, which is starting to come now.
Once everyone had returned, all fed and watered (or beer-ed in a lot of cases), the afternoon continued. We played several more games as the arrangements got more and more complicated. I think it went something like: Losers of group 1 play losers of group 2. 4th place in group 1 play 4th place in group 2 etc.
As Molly’s team were 5th in their group, and we were languishing in the same position in our group, both rather unfairly we thought, there was ultimately a match between us and the girls. This was good fun and I think everyone enjoyed it. Although, of course we tried our hardest and played as dirty as we could, we were simply outclassed by our younger, fitter counterparts and they thrashed us
This then gave us an overall table of all 10 teams. There were then play-offs between each pair of consecutive teams. So the teams in 10th and 9th place battled it out. Then 8th and 7th etc. to reach the final standings.
So we had one final match to give ourselves the glory of coming 9th. And guess what? We won! Quite amazingly we managed to win a game and proved to the world that we were not the worst team there on the day. Quite an achievement we felt.
Big praise to Molly’s team though, who did fantastically well to come 5th. Congratulations girls, you were great!
Once again, we had had a thoroughly enjoyable day. Every single match was played with great spirit. they were competitive games, but always fair. There were no fights, no retaliation, no aggressive fouls, no arguments with the referee, no parents fighting on the touchline. Just a great, friendly atmosphere with great sport and great people. Every day we find more and more reasons to love it here, and that day added a whole lot more.
And although I now ache in all sorts of now and wonderful ways, I actually really enjoyed it. Perhaps there is life in the old dog yet…
Wow, summer has really arrived. It’s been so hot recently that I haven’t felt like doing anything, never mind writing, but as you can see, I have finally got round to it. Thank heavens for cool, early mornings…!
I survived my epic journey from home to Bristol and back (I hope all you English-speakers out there got the gist of my last post). The journey itself wasn’t too bad, with no delays or cancellations for a change. It was nice to fly Air France and British Airways for a change - beats RyanAir for comfort and facilities any day, though sadly not for price…
On Saturday Molly had another handball tournament, this time on grass at Chavagnes-en-Paillers, on the way to Nantes. It was a fair old trek to get there, but it was a beautiful day, so it was quite an enjoyable drive. This time there were 5 teams in the same group as Foussais - all boys teams. I think they took one look at our team full of girls and imagined themselves wiping the floor (well, grass) with us. Luckily our girls put paid to that idea by thrashing each team by an average of about 6-1! Of course it did help that most of our players were about 3 feet taller than the others. They seemed to be up against under-8s, rather than under-12s, but hey, we weren’t complaining!
Some fine goal-keeping by Molly again and some good attacking by the rest of the team gave us well-deserved victories in all the matches. So clearly we won the tournament - Allez Les Bleues!! We picked up a trophy and all the girls got medals and bags. Molly even won a handball board-game in the raffle, so it was a very productive afternoon. We, the Foussais supporters club (that’s Me, Lisa, Rosie, Joe and one other parent - no-one else made the journey) enjoyed our afternoon baking in the sun. The tournament was on grass this time, so we had the picnic rug out and it was all very civilised - a bit nicer than the freezing cold days standing at football matches back in England…
While we’re on the subject of handball, it appears that I have let myself in for some ritual humiliation on Saturday 14th June. When i took Molly to her practise last week I was collared by one of the dads there and asked if I wanted to be part of a handball team. “Moi?” I ask, racking my brains for all the words to describe how old, slow and unfit I am… “Mais, je suis…erm…lent…et….um…”. “Ah oui,” he insisted, “ça c’est pas grave…c’est pour l’amusent!”. It turns out that it’s a “Sans-License” tournament, which basically means that anyone can turn up and play, which generally seems to mean that its all for a bit of a laugh (or so I’m hoping). François-Marie, the head of Molly & Joe’s school is taking part too, and we spoke to him about it last night. After he gave us the good news that he thinks Molly will be fine going up to college, (hurrah!), we filled him on on the story of the last time I engaged in any competitive sport - namely the school sports day Dad’s race (I won’t embarrass myself bore you with the details, but I fell and broke my collar bone in 2 places 
) He was highly amused - I’m hoping that’s not a sign that he feels I may be in similar danger again! People are asking if I have started training for the event…well I think my only preparation will be a handful of painkillers and perhaps a tot of pineau before we start, just to dull the pain on any injury’s that are bound to follow…the injury to my pride when I let in every goal will just have to heal with time…
As it has been so sunny over the last few days, and spurred on by some lovely days round the pool at our friend’s house, we decided we should get out our own pool, one of the 12-foot above-ground ones, that has been stuck in a box for the last 2 years. We bought a ground-sheet especially for the occasion, layed it out, stretched the hose and the power all the way to the bottom of the garden and started filling. It was about 3 hours later that we realised that it wasn’t really going to work. The house is built on a hill, gradually sloping off down to the lake. And hence, that’s where all the water in the pool was heading. We had a very deep end, and a very shallow end, and, unfortunately, the pool doesn’t quite work like that. Of course, having partly filled it up, it then was impossible to move it. So we had to let most of the water out (we’re on a water meter here folks…) so we could try to relocate it to a seemingly more level piece of ground. But sadly, there was no such place. The only place with anything like a level area is the field. Now, this is fine, we had plenty of space on the field, but it is a bit out of the way, down at the bottom of the lane. We had borrowed another hose-pipe in order to reach the pool where we had it previously. In order for it to reach the field I think we will need yet another! And then there is the electricity for the pump. I estimate a 60m extension lead will be required - if such a thing even exists…I really don’t know.
Added to all these difficulties is the tiny, but not insignificant, hole that appeared in the pool, along the line on where it had been folded up. I tried patching it with duck tape, but to no avail. We need a patch to stop our precious water leaking away into the lake. Oh the things you do! Still, we’ll get it sorted in the end and hopefully the kids will be able to enjoy the pool throughout the summer, as, if it’s this hot in June, I look forward to seeing what it is like in July & August.
Handball is a game that I had only really vaguely heard of before coming to France. It was one of those games that, if challenged, I would probably confuse with other misunderstood games like Hurling, and Pelote. Hoever, it didn’t take us long living here before our girls both got the bug and now we have 2 handball players in the family!
Basically, handball is a cross between netball, basketball and football. The game is played with a very bouncy ball (about half the size of a basketball) and can be dribbled (with one hand) by the player as in basketball. The player can also run without bouncing, but only for 3 steps, after which they must pass the ball by throwing or bouncing it to a team-mate, as in netball. The “gardien” guards the goal much like a traditional football keeper - using any part of their body to defend the goalmouth - which resembles a football net, only much smaller.
And that is about the sum total of my knowledge of the rules. There are lots of official ones, but that’s pretty much all we’ve managed to pick up on so far! handball is actually an Olympic event, so we will get to see it in Beijing in a few weeks time, which will be good.
Molly plays with the under 12s while Rosie is with the under 18s. They both really enjoy it, I think partly because it is something totally different, and also because it’s a great opportunity to get to know some more friends from the village. Both teams have made the girls really welcome and it’s so lovely to see them a part of something like this so soon after arriving here.
Anyway, on Sunday Molly had her first tournament. She’s not officially able to play in proper matches yet as we haven’t got round to getting a license organised yet (all sport teams require a doctors certificate before they will accept you into the team properly - a good system I think). But no matter, as this was a “sans-license” tournament, meaning that anyone could play. So Molly got to take part, which was great news.
The tournament was held at Les Magnils-Reigniers, about 40 minutes from us in another of the great sports halls that they have in most villages round here. it was a combination of 4 under-12 girls teams and 4 under-18 boys teams, with the matches alternating between boys and girls. This was a great arrangement as it made for a really exciting day. Although the girls do very well, watching the boys play is a totally different experience. It’s a surprisingly fast and physical game and the chaps really do take it seriously. At times it was more like watching rugby than handball! But something that impressed us all was the spirit with which all the games were played. Although there were fouls, penalties and lots of very hard tackles, no-one got angry, no-one retaliated and there were always pats onthe back and hands shaken at the end of the match. The whole atmosphere was one of friendly excitement, with us visitors able to be neutral in the boys competition and enjoy the spectacle.
Back to the girls - Molly started as sub, but soon came on, getting involved in some attacks and defending well - she’s twice the height of most of the girls in the team, so can use her size to her advantage. Sadly we lost the first match, but the girls played well. In the second game Molly went in goal and this seemed to be a stroke of genius from the coach. As she has not been playing as long as the others she is not quite as comfortable dribbling and shooting as the others, but, as mentioned, she is big and, more importantly, very brave. So when she stood between the posts, she managed to fill the space easily and did a terrific job of keeping goal. Unfortunately the outfield players couldn’t manage to get the ball in the other net very well, so we lost that game as well. But i think everyone agreed that Molly was a good person to have in goal. For Molly, it was just like the old times with Healing Hotspurs, the local football team she was in back in England. There she spent many matches “between the sticks” and always proved a solid and fearless ‘keeper.
Unfortunately, Foussais just couldn’t manage to score the goals to get us a win until the final game of the day, where our well-deserved victory gained us 3rd place overall. Even though we didn’t get the greatest results, I think the whole team enjoyed the day and we all had a great time. The only down-side was the hard wooden benches we had to sit on. Next time we’ll have to bring cushions!
